Things To Do In Denver…

I came up with one of my genius ideas. Well, my friend DJ Gary and I have come up with a genius idea.

We meet once a week and go have an adventure in our fair city. One of us will think of stuff we always wanted to go do or see in Denver then actually stop the busy schedule for a day and go explore. So far it’s been a great way to spend the summer. I’m quite the gay urban explorer. Okay, so spending six hours in IKEA really doesn’t count. But, other adventures have been exploring and rediscovering Confluence Park, museums, and spelunking at pawn shops. And although Denver has gotten much better at securing their abandoned buildings, there might just be some visiting to “off limits” buildings around town.

Our next adventure will start as all of them, with Chinese food. Then it’s a bike ride around the Highland neighborhood to check out new bars and to scout out any…. off-limits structures to visit. wink-wink.

Posted in IKEA, Uncategorized, Weekend Maddness | 3 Comments

Damn You Bloggers

I read two separate articles yesterday on topics close to my heart. The first had a topic on the death of personal blogging; the second was on the death of podcasts.

It’s funny how magazine writers need to find a topic then try to exploit its possible fail to make a story. With both topics I’m not surprised that a corporate owned news company would say that two entities that cannot be controlled by corporations are doomed. But, the theme of this “personal blog” isn’t about how corporate news modifies our behavior. Its theme is a personal blog; I’ll keep my corporation paranoia to myself.

The suggested move to only write in 140 characters on Twitter and away from blog posts is overlooking that the early adapters to blogging are now just utilizing twits to just drive traffic to their blogs, it’s a PR move, not the next evolution.

The author suggesting that podcasting has no relevant role in advertizing is correct. That’s the point. The author also clearly isn’t gay. Or just doesn’t have great taste in music. I say this because on my iPod there are a dozen DJ’s podcasts with incredible music. More and more DJs are using podcasts as business cards, a way to demonstrate their mad skills in a way to also build fans. It’s brilliant.

If the theme today is akin to me shaking my rake at the neighborhood kids and telling them to stay off my lawn I’ll just ramble on to say that I think I might be over my WordPress blog. I soon may be moving back to Blogger. The reason? Fellow bloggers. Well, reading their blogs that is. After numerous attempts I cannot get my blog roll to sort by the Blogger’s last update. I can sort alphabetically or by some random order yet is won’t pull an update from the post and sort it by date/time. I’ve submitted help tickets to WordPress but this is equal to placing a sign reading FREE CAT next to a road kill tabby.

*shakes rake*

Posted in Bloggers | 7 Comments

Cin City

The funny thing about going on vacation, especially when it’s to an ordinary place is the reactions you get. The last couple of days where filled with people wrinkling their noses and asking why I was on vacation in their home town.

At first I would offer up explanations about the rich history and the architecture. Yet after the third cashier not buying my story, I said I was in Ohio for work. Funny how you can live in a city yet not know anything about it.

I soaked up Cin City like a sponge. I did every walking tour of anything historic I could find, I spent hours having the history of the art deco Union Terminal train station explained. My history nerd was in full force. At night I repeated the process but with Cincinnati’s gay bars. I saw drag shows at Shooters and guys being flogged at The Serpent.


With all the walking and avoiding of drag queens the appetite I worked up was easily handled with local cuisine, like a four way. That’s Skyline chili (Cincinnati’s famous red chili), spaghetti, onion, and a mountain of cheese. It’s funny how easily “Yeah, I’ll have a Diet Coke and a four way” came off my tongue. If my palette wasn’t satisfied with chili then there was an endless supply if White Castles.

To recoup my energy I spent my non-eating, drag queen dodging, man flogging time lying naked on a pool float at the newly-renovated lesbian Kentucky plantation.

There’s something to be said about vacationing in a random city. Although don’t get me wrong, give me the choice of London or Lincoln and you’ll know my answer.

Posted in Vacations | 6 Comments

Go Mid-West Young Steve

The first thing that hits me when traveling to another city and I walk out the baggage claim glass doors is most often the humidity.

I forget sometimes that most of the planet has humidity. Coming from deep in the heart of Texas this really shouldn’t surprise me. Yet it does. Every time.

First thing on the list? White Castle then head to our host’s house in Northern Kentucky. The newly renovated lesbians, I’ll refer to them as “Newly Renovated” because they were a hetro couple until one had re-assignment surgery. Northern Kentucky transgendered lesbians make the best hosts.

Posted in Vacations | 4 Comments


Somehow I awoke this morning shocked and surprised that it was August 1st.  As if it was a sneak attack arriving at this point of summer.  I’m happy that the dog days of summer has smacked me in the face because so far it’s been great. August has come to just reinforce the idea.

I believe that this summer I may have been indoctrinated into some sort of secret society.  This idea came now that I have settled into a routine of running in the park.  I noticed the same group of physical activity aficionados partaking in their daily constitutionals.  This was made apparent to me when several of the shirtless gentlemen attempted to slap my person.  It was a mile down the path of my brain mulling over and over why these guys were yearning or high-fives that I realized this physical assault was warranted.  Dudes high-five each other as they pass on the running path.  Got it. Do this and I’ll blend with the gang. The shirtless runners in the park gang.

So enters August, the month will find me running and high-fiving like a mad man.

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

IKEA From Heaven

Listening to a review of the Broadway show The Book of Mormon I was re-reminded why I have a genetic predisposition for loving dioramas.

Angel / Man love

It seems to me that every fay Mormon boy spent hours in the Mormon Education Center playing with the oversized glass incased dioramas.  Somehow if you make overly complicated light up models of The Angel Moroni appearing to Joseph Smith just to show him where the prophet-warrior buried his dishware, it makes it a little less crazy sounding.

As a kid I love these dioramas, I’d spend hours at the Mormon Pioneers display. It lit up and the cows mooed. I loved the mooing cows so much that Sister Adams banned me from the education center.  Somehow being denied access to the displays had set me up for a lifelong love of all things showcase.  Like IKEA.

Yesterday was the opening day of our local IKEA and I almost skipped through the parking garage to see the Swedish Education Center showroom.  My heart started to pound as I rode the escalators to my date with low price, high quality plastic and particleboard Swedish destiny. Just then I knew how Joseph Smith felt when Moroni appeared to him. 

The concept of IKEA is based upon the diorama, hundreds of lovely vignettes to show you that if only you were a better person your kitchen could look like that.  If your dining room and kitchen were only that nice you’d say “Regardless” instead of your gutter “Erregaurdless”.  It’s nice having little examples to show you how you could be a better person.

My first trip to our local IKEA was a smashing success.  I’d have to say it was on the same level as a golden angel coming down from the heavens to show me the location of sacred Swedish meatballs.

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

I’ll Ink Myself

I’m totally going to get a tattoo.  Really.

I said this once to a friend once who quickly rolled their eyes.  I was then told that there are three types of people, ones who will never get inked, ones who are addicted to getting tattoos, and ones like me who keep saying that someday they’ll get ink done.

I guess in life everyone has their perpetual to-do list. The list of things we procrastinate about.  Mine is a long list that begins with getting a tattoo, stutters around having a torrid affair with an Aspen ski instructor named Luke, whitening my teeth, volunteering at Denver’s GLBT Center,   and flashing my dick on that London Eye Millennium Wheel.  You know, stuff you would totally do if you just didn’t have to wait for the dishwasher repair technician, or have dinner with one of your less popular relatives.  

When the day comes…really sometime soon… I’ll make the appointment and get that tattoo I speak of.  I even know what I want, it’s not like I’d spend hours flipping through the photo catalogs just to say “yeah, I want a barbed-wire arm band, but make it unique. Something that represents my soul.”   Or maybe some Chinese characters that some said means “Hope” but looks like Combo #2 Beef with Broccoli.  Unless I could get 健怡可樂 on my forearm, that would make ordering at my favorite restaurants so much easier.  

So, since most people who get tattoos do it just to show off that they’re all deep thinking persons of the universe I guess I’ll do just that.  The unutterable name of G-d.

Having to read a lot about the big bearded guy upstairs I kept finding mentions to the power in writing his name in permanent form.  The Hebrew translation cannot be written in any permanent form, it is forbidden unless strict rules are to be followed.  Thus, it must not be destroyed nor altered but hallowed.  Even though it’s acceptable to white the name on a computer, as it is considered non-permanent I hold the concept with so much respect I’d rather link to the page with the name on it. Although when I do finally get around to getting my tattoo there will be a lot of explaining to do during that part of the night out at the bar when guys start comparing ink.

“What is it?”  The random guy screams over blaring Beyoncé.

“It’s the Unutterable name of God” I’ll scream.

“Udders of God? If you can’t say it how’d ya tell the guy to ink it?”

Since I’ll get this on my external oblique or Apollo’s belt I slowly lower my shirt.  “It’s Hebrew for I think I’m all deep!”

Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments